It is very important for successful EFT to be specific. If you tap using general words such as “I feel so anxious”, the tapping isn’t targeted specifically enough to resolve anything. You will of course always get benefits from tapping round the points, but to really clear the root cause of an issue we need to get specific. Instead of general language, try to be specific with time, place, people involved, situation, and body sensations.
So, better than just “I feel anxious” is “I feel anxious like a fluttering in my belly when my mother-in-law looks at me in that way at the dinner table.” Here we are targeting specific body sensations (fluttering in my belly), time (dinner time), place (dinner table), people (mother-in-law), and situation (having dinner, she looks at me in that way). More than likely this will reduce the intensity of the anxiety much more quickly than by being general.
Use your own words which resonate with you
Tapping scripts and tap-along videos can be really helpful, as many of us share the same experiences, feelings and belief systems. However, if something doesn’t fit with your experience, it is much better to find your own words which do. It is also more specific!
Many people also don’t feel very comfortable using the traditional acceptance statement wording “Even though xyz, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” If so, you may use any kind of wording that accepts where you are right now and what you are feeling. For example, “Even though xyz, I am OK right now,” or, “I accept that that is how I’m feeling today.”
If you get stuck, can’t find the words, trigger uncomfortable memories or feelings, KEEP TAPPING without words until you feel calm.
It is very important to drop the words and not to drop the tapping if you find yourself in a fix. Tapping with no words will balance your system. You can even tap while counting (12345, 12345), just to keep your conscious mind on the tapping and in the present moment and place. If this happens to you while tapping by yourself, please seek the help of a qualified EFT practitioner or your usual mental health provider.
It is rare to get a five-minute wonder with EFT. Most people take a few hours of tapping with a professional EFT practitioner to get resolution of their issues, and for core life issues it can take many months or years to gently peel back the layers and bring healing at an appropriate pace. If you are working on a self-help basis, please know that this may take even longer, depending on the issue.
Some things may be relatively quick. The first thing I used EFT for, before I had any training, was to develop the habit of flossing my teeth every day. It took only one session to drop my resistance to flossing, because it was a rather simple issue and unrelated to any life lessons of mine. However, I have other issues that I have been slowly unravelling for a decade. There is certainly a great deal of noticeable progress, but it can seem slow.